It’s Not Just You: How Systems Shape Our Stress

Have you ever felt like no amount of deep breathing or well-intentioned journaling can ease your stress? So then you find yourself feeling even MORE stressed and you eventually just numb out by doomscrolling (because honestly, who hasn’t?) - well, you’re not alone.

The world we live in places enormous pressure on us. From financial strain to the never-ending stream of distressing news, our anxiety can feel pretty constant. And while things like challenging our avoidance and self-care definitely have a place (I mean, I’m a therapist…I do try to practice what I preach), the idea that we should individually “fix” our stress ignores the bigger picture, much of our overwhelm is systemic.

The Bigger Picture:

Workplace expectations, rising costs of living, inequitable access to resources, and societal norms all contribute to the stress we carry. Many of these demands are beyond our control, yet we’re often led to believe our struggles are personal failings. The reality? Feeling burned out or anxious isn’t just about mindset, it’s also about the environments we navigate every day.

Some of Us Feel This Even More

While stress is definitely a shared experience, certain marginalized groups face an even heavier load. For example, women, people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, people with disabilities, and those with lower socioeconomic status often encounter additional layers of pressure, including experiences such as: discrimination, racism, pay gaps, limited access to mental health care or other helpful resources, and even just the expectation to carry more emotional labor. So if you feel like the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders, it’s not just in your head. Being exhausted makes sense.

Reducing the Pressure

At this point, we can hopefully agree that if you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s not because you’re “not doing enough.” A more compassionate approach means recognizing the systemic factors at play while also finding ways to support ourselves within them. Maybe therapy is the space where you can process these realities, reconnect with your needs and values, while also building resilience.

Or maybe you find support through a community. Maybe you have a solid routine that integrates outlets that actually work for you. Whatever it is, the pressures of living aren’t something we should just slap on an “I’ll handle it” and push through until we burn out. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to need help. Most of us can’t do this alone.

A Tool to Help: The Five Part Model

Unfortunately, there is no magic wand to wave and address all our stressors. So if you find yourself falling back into that place of internal judgment and like you “should” be handling whatever you’re facing. I invite you to pause and explore the situation through a therapy tool called the Five Part Model. The Five Part Model is a tool that helps us zoom out and gain perspective on any moment, especially when we ar stuck in our thoughts and feelings.

So here’s how it works! All you gotta do (and yes, most everything is always easier said than done lol) is take the time to answer these five questions. Once you’ve done so, really reflect on how your answers exist together and more than likely influence one another.

1. What is my current environment?
   This is truly the foundation. We can’t move to exploring what’s happening internally before we acknowledge what’s happening externally. I’m going to break this one down further than the others so that you might really start to understand what’s at play here:

   • What societal or systemic factors might be influencing my stress right now? (i.e. financial strain, workplace culture, discrimination, lack of access to resources)

   • Are there power dynamics at play in this situation? (i.e. gender, race, class, ability, workplace hierarchy)

   • How does my cultural background or upbringing shape the way I respond to stress?

   • Am I feeling unsafe or unsupported in any spaces I navigate daily (work, home, relationships, community)?

   • What unspoken expectations are present in my environment? (i.e. emotional labor, productivity pressure, family obligations)

   • Do I have access to the resources I need (financial, emotional, medical, community-based), or am I being expected to “figure it out” alone?

   • Are there historical or generational patterns/barriers that make this stress feel heavier for me? (i.e. family history of survival-based coping, immigration experiences)

2. What thoughts am I having?
   What narratives are running through your mind? Are they self-critical, anxious, or overwhelmed?

3. What feelings do I notice?
   What emotions are showing up in response to this situation?

4. What physical sensations are present?
   Stress is often carried in the body. Do you notice tension, fatigue, or restlessness?

5. Are there any behaviors I engaged in or want to engage in?
   How are you responding to all of this? Are you withdrawing, overworking, numbing out, or trying to cope in ways that may or may not be helpful?

This model doesn’t fix stress, but it helps us step back, reflect, and meet ourselves with more understanding. and we can all use a little more of that. If this post has resonated with you or highlighted that you need some additional support right now, I’m here and would love to talk about becoming your therapist!